As social media continues to permeate every aspect of our lives, there is a continuing controversy about parents should post information about their children on social media sites. The controversy is grounded in both safety concerts, as well as concerns that children, who have not consented to having this information shared with the world, may suffer an invasion of their privacy or emotional harm. A recent decision demonstrates how these issues can be addressed by the courts in New York.
In Melody M. v Robert M., 103 A.D.3d 932 (3rd Dept. 2013), the Third Department affirmed a Family Court order that among other changes to the prior joint custody, issued an order of protection against the mother that prohibited her from, among other things, posting any communications to or about the children on any social network site. From the decision, it appears that while the parties initially had a joint custodial arrangement, that arrangement broke down primarily due to the mother’s pattern of inappropriate behavior and its effect on the parties’ oldest child, who had mental health issues. The mother did not participate in the child’s counseling because she did not like the therapist, or follow therapist’s recommendation with respect to household routines. The mother also testified that she frequently called the father for him to take the oldest child away during her parenting time because she could not deal with his behavior. The mother admitted that she swore and yelled at the oldest child, and often resorted to physical means to deal with him.
In addition, the court quoted some of the mother’s testimony which was astounding:
[mother] utilized Facebook to insult and demean the child, who was then 10 years old, by, among other things, calling him an “asshole.” She testified without remorse that she did so because that is what “[h]e is,” and she thought it was important for her Facebook friends to know this. Charitably stated, her testimony reflected a lack of insight as to the nature of her conduct toward her oldest child.
As a result of the mother’s use of physical force and disparagement of the oldest child on Facebook, the father had filed a violation petition. Since there was sufficient evidence regarding the mother’s inappropriate use of the Internet to demean and disparage the oldest child, as well as her lack of remorse or insight into the inappropriateness of such behavior, the Appellate Division held that the lower court was justified in issuing an order of protection.
It is clear that the mother’s behavior was clearly inappropriate and that the court was justified in protecting the child. Just like with anything else involving the children, if you want to maintain custody of your children in the age of social media, it is best not to disparage them on Facebook.